new(ish) year, new job

so I'm sat drinking peppermint tea and watching the Brits, thinking about what I can write and if it will be interesting. I've not been blogging too much so far this year because, well, I've had my stresshead on and I find it difficult to motivate myself to do anything other than lie on the couch when I'm feeling that way. but anyway, the exciting news of the year is...I have a new JOB

A WRITING JOB

yes, that's right. you heard me

A WRITING JOB

as of next Monday (if they bother themselves to get my contract to me, but that's another story and will just involve me whinging about how rubbish HR are, so I'll save us all some time and leave that bit out) I will officially be a Communications Executive. now, this is definitely one of those jobs where they didn't quite know what to call it, so they stuck "executive" on the end, but hey, it works for me.

so, as of next Monday, my duties will include writing and editing an in house magazine. I will have other things, writing marketing material, standard letters, blah blah blah, but the main bit of my job will be writing and editing.

how exciting is that?!?!?!?!

it's taken me a long time to get here, but it finally seems like I've alligned my writing and my working life. I hope.

so I only have two more days of old work left, then I'm off on Friday as they boyfriend and I are having a birthday and then I have the new job. and I might blog a bit more. because I'm in a bit of a better fettle.

new year, new things

this morning, I did a new thing. I got up early (on a Saturday) and went to the GYM

yes, that's right, the gym. I went to a body pump class. for those of you who don't know, its like squats and lunges and general movement with weights. it hurts. and I feel ok now but tomorrow I imagine I will feel like I've been kicked down the stairs

yesterday, I did another new thing. I posted my story in a forum to get some feedback on it. I've never done that before and it was quite scary. scarier, even, than my writing group, but so worth it. so far I've received one critique but it is so thoughtful and so considered I've taken every little bit on board. a couple of the points I read thinking "you're so right". I guess that kind of objectivity comes from someone who doesn't know me, when comments don't have to be said out loud. anyway, so far, it has been an incredibly positive experience and one I definitely intend to repeat. the story will undergo a few more revisions and tomorrow it will be printed and read outloud a few times whilst the boyf is at the football (its the derby. last time Newcastle absolutely humped Sunderland but can they do it again?) and then it will be sent out. this will be the fourth time its gone out, but the first in it's most recent incarnation of being in the first person. fingers crossed it will fare better

the forum (should you wish to check it out) is part of Winning Words, a website maintained by the lovely Michelle, you can see it here

http://winningwords.org.uk/

ok, thats it from me. good night! xx

hello again, Happy New Year and all that jazz...

So today I submitted the first short story of the New Year. Woohoo! Exciting times. I have plans to finish rewriting another two. One needs a lot of work. One, not so much. When you're rewriting, do you ever feel like it will never end? Like you don't have enough words in you to shape this little story into what it needs to be?

That's a bit how I feel. I just need to put my head down and actually work hard. It'll get there.

In other news, I may soon have nothing but time to work hard at my writing as I got told last month that I'm at risk of redundancy. I was a bit stressed, but then realised it was out of my control so have stopped being stressed about it. I have, however, found and applied for a job (inhouse) which is all about writing. I know. And had I not been at risk, I might not have checked the jobs board that day, so fingers crossed something will come from that.

Aside from that, I just have to keep writing. The devil makes work for idle hands, or in my case, he finds a remote control and puts it there and then I'm forever trapped in an endless cycle of rubbishy American crime dramas. I'm fast approaching the end of my two weeks off...right, must get a shower and WRITE.

Bye!

blogging from the bus (...or, pulling my socks up)

I nearly fell over about 5 times on the way to the bus this morning. Boring, I know, but I felt the need to share. Now I'm blogging from the bus, the number 56 to Gosforth in fact. It was late but so was I so it worked well. To combat snowy conditions I've been getting up and getting public transport early. In inclement weather its only bearable when its quiet.
In other news, I've taken baby footsteps towards the rewrite. I haven't read it yet but I have decided where I want the action to start, so I've started. I want a couple of pages to take to my group on Sat. I'm quite nervous, but excited. Eeek! I've also bought a book on character. I struggle somewhat with character and its been a featured comment in some of my short story feedback so I'm hoping the book will help. Its by Holly Lisle if anyone wants to google it, and from what I can see it says you don't need to know everything about them (good, I don't know everything about anyone, doesn't mean they're not real to me) and just cos someone has a funny hat or an interesting walk it doesn't make them a good character. Anyway, watch this space. I hope it works.

Right, must go. Time to iceskate.

F.E.A.R

Last week, I printed my NaNo story off. I nearly broke the printer (historically, I'm not good with silly things like printers and shredders), but, oh! how awesome it looks. It's a lot bigger than I thought it would be. It looks a lot more...booky than I thought it would. I bought a new folder especially and I've put it in there and I pick it up at least once a day and marvel at the weight of it.

However, I didn't print it just so I could oooh over it and congratulate myself. I printed it off so I could start to edit it. So I could begin what I imagine to be a very, very long process. So I can start to whip the opening chapters into shape for the Debut Dagger competition. I printed it off with very good intentions (not just to kill trees).

So what's stopping me? Well, I appear to have given myself the fear. Absolute, unmistakable, heavy hearted, want to take to my bed and lie in the dark fear. And for what? I've spent November knowing that it is rubbish. I've already established that I need to do character development, and that, in general, I'm better at re-writing than I am at writing. I've armed myself with new pens to write all over it. I have paper to write lists of plot holes, and research needed, and all the other stuff I know will need to be done. I'm ready for this re-write, but...I've also spent November thinking, maybe I'm on to something here? I have a half written synopsis where I haven't had to make it up as I go, it's all taken from the story. I have new scenes that I want to write. I think I'm just scared that if I start, my inner editor won't take kindly to a month of being exiled and will tell me it's rubbish. That the bad far, far outweighs any good that could ever come of it, that I was a fool to even think I could do this. Quite frankly, it scares the pants of me and makes me feel a little bit like crying.

Deep down I know that I should just get it over with, that its like being waxed or tattooed, a horrible thing that hurts loads but also only hurts for a very short time and then the end result is really worth it. So yes. I should start.

Or maybe I'll go and prepare the veg for dinner. And have a go at a short story. And drink some tea. Yes, definitely drink some tea. Perhaps tea will give me the courage I need to get this thing started, and once I've started, it won't be so bad...

hooray! hooray! hooray!

well I've won. I've written just under eight thousand words today and I am exhausted. I honestly feel like I could sleep for a week but, sadly, I can only sleep for one night before getting up early and battling through mountains of snow to get to work. sigh. next year, I'm going to book the whole of December off.

until then, I'm going to work on my synopsis and get my first couple of thousand words ready for the Debut Dagger. oh, and I've entered a little Writers and Artists Yearbook competition, which really helped me focus.

I think that now I'm going to turn my brain off, watch an X Factor/I'm a Celeb double bill, drink some peppermint tea and try not to think about my story (which might be impossible). tomorrow, I'm getting a hair do and then I'm going to attempt some printing, although I fear that at a hundred and eighty pages (I double space) the printer may self destruct...right, I'm over typing. my fingers hurt. I wish I could gloat more, but I'm just...too...tired...zzzzzzzzzz...

and the weather outside is...

snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow snow

it's almost like the end of the world, but whiter. much, much whiter. is it spring time yet?